In Memoriam

Three weeks ago, my dear friend Roy was riding his scooter home when he was struck and killed by a drunk driver going the wrong way down a one way street. This is a somber post and not directly related to our home, but Roy was an important part of Dave’s and my life so I feel compelled to write this. Perhaps it will help me be able to process that this tragedy actually occurred. I still find it hard to believe. I went to the funeral, and I walked by the open casket at the end of the service. I thought this would help me say goodbye and come to grips with the fact that he was actually gone. But it didn’t really help because what I was looking at didn’t look like my friend. I told Dave as much and he said, ‘How do you expect it to? He was so full of life. Take that away and of course it won’t look like him.’ And I know it’s illogical, but when I overheard someone wonder aloud about who had created the Friends of Roy page on facebook, I thought to myself, ‘Well it was Roy, of course.’ When I consider the reality of him being gone, I’m incredibly sad.

I’ve met so many of Roy’s friends that I didn’t know before who have been trying to find good out of this tragedy. I’m not sure I’m ready to see that good yet. I’m not even sure I know what that good is. That we get to see just how many of us loved Roy? Roy had a magnetic personality that drew people in. He had so many groups of friends that many of us didn’t know anything about the others. In getting to know some of these other friends, I found out that the song I’ve had stuck in my head for weeks (This Is Why We Fight by The Decemberists) was one of Roy’s favorite songs. I didn’t know that before and I like having that in common with him. One person I’ve met since Roy died best described Roy’s relationship with all of these groups of friends. He said that Roy made all of us feel like the wife, but we were, in fact, all mistresses. We all knew he had other friends, but we all felt like he was OUR friend, that he was just hanging out with these other people, that it wasn’t anything serious. I’m somewhat envious of the group he was hanging out with the last year or two. Since moving into our house almost two years ago, Dave and I hadn’t gotten to see Roy very much. We were doing lots of work on the house, and then we got pregnant so we were working double time on the house, and then Emaline arrived and we haven’t stopped to catch our breaths ever since. And Roy was always around…we’d see him out at dinner sometimes or we’d email back and forth, but we didn’t spend much time together. But from what I could gather in our brief encounters and emailings was that this was the best Roy I’d ever known. He was happy and healthy and loving life.

I don’t have any real tangible things by which to remember Roy. I have two pictures of us together:

These were taken at my birthday almost four years ago. I have pictures of him from Dave’s and my wedding. That day wouldn’t have been nearly as beautiful if not for him and his girlfriend at the time. They decorated the entire reception hall for us. But that’s about it. I don’t have any particularly amusing anecdotes. I mostly just have snippets of memories of evenings we spent in each others’ company: of the one exhilarating time I rode on the back of his scooter; of the sad times when I needed him most to help me through a broken heart; of a stupid argument about bagels.

I’ve run searches on two different email accounts trying to find something to remind me of him, something to be able to hold onto. From what I could find, it seems our relationship revolved around tacos, Volvos, and Portland-the city we both wanted to move to years ago while broken up with our significant others. Here are my two favorite email exchanges, first about Portland, then tacos.  My comments are in parentheses:

Portland Email

Roy: reminded me of some convos we had a few years back. funny stuff.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVmq9dq6Nsg&feature=player_embedded#! (This is a video clip for a show called Portlandia, spoofing Portland, OR.  Also, this is directly copied and pasted.  Roy really didn’t capitalize in his emails to me.)

Me: Dang it!  The sound on the home desktop is busted and the home laptop won’t stay on.  I’ll hold onto it until I get back to work and listen there.  Why didn’t we move there again?

Roy:  1) we’re lazy

2) the bazillion hipsters that moved there have driven the unemployment rate to like 60%

3) we’re lazy

Me: I think our laziness would have been fine seeing as how we wouldn’t have jobs.

Taco Email

Me: Have you seen this blog?  It’s all about taquerias in the OC.  http://tacocliff.wordpress.com/.  Lez go!

Roy: Oooh… good find.  I may seriously have to have a meat break occasionally.  anything for tacos.

Me: Oh, sorry.  I forgot about 2010 meatless Roy.

Roy: don’t apologize.  far deadlier temptresses have been paraded in front of me.

Me: A parade of meat temptresses?

Roy: that’s what that blog ought have been titled.

Me: HA!

HA! That was Roy’s laugh that I would use in emails to him.  I loved it and wanted to convey that by copying it in emails.  I miss that explosive, monosyllabic laugh more than I can say. I have never experienced the loss of a friend before. I lost one grandfather when I was 11 and the other when I was 20. I was certainly saddened by both of those events, but they were expected. When I received the call three weeks ago from my friend Jessica that Roy had been killed in a wreck, it was akin to someone telling me that the sky is green and the grass is blue. It made absolutely no sense, it didn’t compute.

I could probably fill several pages reminiscing about my friend, lamenting his loss, but at this point in time it doesn’t seem to be helping. I am no more ready to accept his death as fact than when I started writing this 24 hours ago. I am an eternal optimist and romantic who stalwartly believes in happily ever after. How can my friend be gone for forever and ever? This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

So I’ll leave you with this: treasure your loved ones. Don’t take them for granted. Pick up the phone and call that friend you haven’t seen in a while. In the blink of an eye, your whole world can change so enjoy whatever is at hand.

Rest in peace dear friend. You are missed every day.

Lights, plumbing, action!

When Chi, the best tile guy ever, left our house at 8 pm on Easter Sunday I was amazed by the transformation the master bathroom had undergone. But there was still more to come. Dave put on his plumber hat and installed the sink, faucet, toilet and shower.

I love all of them, but I’m super excited about our dual flush toilet. It has two buttons on the back, a small one for a small flush and a big one for a big flush. Even the big flush uses much less water than the old toilet in the hall bath. It also has what the manufacturer (Toto) calls a soft close seat and lid. That means if the lid and/or seat are up, you can just tap them and walk away. They will gently and quietly shut. Love it!

I’m pretty sure the new Hansgrohe shower is making me late in the mornings. And despite being low flow it probably doesn’t save us much water as my shower time has increased. It’s just so nice I don’t want to get out! Our linear drain is still missing its grate because the shortest length available was still too long for us. However, we are fortunate to know someone with a plasma cutter who can cut it to size for us soon.

And just so the sink doesn’t feel left out, I like it a great deal as well. I probably use it the least right now because there are no mirrors and I can’t fix my hair or make up in this bathroom yet, but we’ll be there soon.

With the plumbing done, Dave then finished the light installation. We went with the wet location version of the recessed light from our bedroom in the shower. It’s nice and bright with clean lines. For the vanity, we went with three pendant mount fixtures from Artemide. They give off a nice warm even light, and are dimmable to make it a little easier on the eyes in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning.

So with all that said, here are the latest pictures:

I don’t have a picture of the shower right now because it’s pretty tight quarters, but I’ll get one eventually.  It’s not quite done yet, but the to do list grows ever shorter. It includes a shower door, mirrors, accessories like towel bars, and installing the bathroom door and door trim. Pretty minor stuff considering all that’s been done so far. As for the bedroom, we still need closet doors and curtains, but it is otherwise done. Now our focus will turn to the yard for a while before we brace ourselves for the next major interior project.

Best. Tile guy. Ever.

Two different tiles, three different sizes, two different grout colors, and a guy named Chi. A lesser tile installer might have balked at the challenge or tried to convince us to simplify the pattern, but not Chi. Instead, he asked us if we wanted him to miter the outside corners. We didn’t even know that was an option! Heck yeah we want mitered corners! This guy took an angle grinder to every piece of tile that went on an outside corner and ground down the edge to a 45 degree angle. Wow. Needless to say, it took him a little longer than anticipated, but he showed up on Saturday and Easter Sunday in order to get the job done and never increased his price. And the result? Well, here’s a reminder of what was there before:

A couple of progress shots:

 

And the final product…well, when I started this entry, I didn’t have my pictures in front of me and I assumed I had this one.  But all I have is one that also shows the lights and sink so you’ll have to wait for the next entry.

The idea was to give a nod to the retro bathrooms that so many people love, but in a more modern way. Generally, those retro bathrooms have one field color on the walls and floor and a contrasting liner tile. We created a similar language by using neutral field tiles on the floor and walls and a glass mosaic liner tile. The idea is that we’ll continue this in the other two restrooms in the house, switching the glass tile color in each one. Next up, plumbing and light fixtures.

Return of the blog…I hope

Wow, the last six months really got away from me. Amazingly, we actually have made some progress on the house despite working full one and raising a not-so-tiny-anymore baby. So here are some updates.

The millwork was installed in the master suite before Em arrived, but I never got around to posting a picture, so this post is my chance.  Lundy Millwork did a great job on these for us. They are rift cut white oak and the pulls are by Emtek.

Next came the countertops and window sills. After researching all the different options, we decided to go with quartz surfacing (Zodiaq by Dupont in color Ice White for anyone who cares). Quartz surfacing is like a cross between natural stone and Corian. There were other more eco-friendly options, but either they didn’t have a good performance record or they were out of our price range. But quartz surfacing is really durable so we won’t have to waste materials replacing it in a few years. It was also a really good choice for our window sills because it doesn’t absorb water. Despite replacing the glass in the windows with insulated glass, the frames are still steel and will still sweat. Now we can just wipe up the puddles…no harm done. So here’s a reminder of what was there before:

And now:

So as not to overload one entry with all the progress of the last several months, I will pause here and save tile, plumbing fixtures, and yard improvements for later posts. Thanks for hanging in there and stay tuned for more to come!

‘…the fire is so delightful’

Before we bought our home last year, we had it inspected.  The inspector didn’t find anything really horrible…a little mold and mildew here (to be expected after a leaky roof problem), a little dryer venting into the crawlspace there.  Probably the worst thing he found was the problems with the fireplace and chimney.  The damper was stuck shut, the gas starter pipe was broken, and some of the fire brick needed repointing (mortar repair).  And to top it all off, we figured it was in dire need of a good cleaning.  Last winter came and went without having any of these issues addressed so we never got to use our fireplace.  We decided to remedy that this year in time for Christmas.  Ta da!

Next item on the list, purchase fire place tools.  In the meantime, a large crowbar is doing the trick.

And a few photos of my favorite baby…

I decided to chronicle her getting ready for a Christmas party.  Here’s before…

During

And after

And the whole family

Christmas is hard work when you’re 7 weeks old.

So is making the traditional Christmas lasagna.

Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

The In Between Day

Yesterday marked Emaline turning four weeks old.  Tomorrow marks her one month birthday.  I thought I’d take today to share some photos from her first month.  Enjoy!

Playing is hard work

Push ups

Daddy?

Sweetest girl in the world

I see you…

Morning nap

Loving on Papaw

Snacktime with Auntie

Late morning nap

Bath time!

Despite the rumors, I don’t sleep ALL the time.

Waking up from early afternoon nap

Not so sure about this Daddy person.

Cute might be my middle name, but my official title is Baroness Von Poopy Pants.

And then there were three…

Emaline Rose Holt arrived on November 2nd at 3:38pm after 6 intense hours of labor.  She weighed in at 7 lbs, 14 oz, measured 20.25″ long, and had a full head of dark hair (I’m willing to call the old wives tale about heartburn during pregnancy and lots of hair very plausible).  We’re all adjusting to her arrival, but doing well.  We’ll be posting some pictures here, but also probably on flickr.  And to clarify the name, it’s pronounced ‘Emma-Line’. 

Don’t give up on us, the house, and the blog; just know that there might not be much activity for a while.  Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, prayers, food, help and friendly ears.

Happy and Clean Home

I’ve been beating myself up for weeks trying to get this house clean.  The major renovation projects were done so I wanted to get everything clean in preparation for bringing home a brand new baby.  Unfortunately, I just don’t have the energy.  I’m very independent and don’t like being limited by physical ailments.  And I tell myself that women used to work out in the fields (and still do in parts of the world) while pregnant so it shouldn’t be that hard for me to dust, clean and mop my house.  Well it is, and somewhere around 8 1/2 months pregnant, I began to accept that. 

So this past week, we hired (for the first time in my life) someone to come clean the house.  Based on recommendations from neighbors, we hired Theresa McDonald with I Am Maid For You (Theresalmcdonald@sbcglobal.net).  I told her I basically just needed the house dusted, bathrooms cleaned and the floors cleaned.  She arrived Wednesday morning and when I got home at 6 that evening, she had not only completed all the items I’d requested, but also done the laundry, washed the few dishes that had been sitting out, fluffed and arranged the pillows on the sofa, rearranged the shoes in my closet, cleaned the fireplace that we haven’t touched since moving in a year ago, washed the sheets and re-made the bed, and put away all the baby stuff that had been sitting on the dining room table for weeks.  I had slowly been going through and washing baby clothes and blankets and putting them away, but I was still at a loss for where to put some of the other things.  She found a place for everything in the nursery and walked me through where she had put everything before she left.  There was also a lovely smelling candle burning on the dining room table.  Wow!  I have finally been able to enjoy my home and not stress over or lament it’s state of uncleanliness.  And I can share these more complete (and clean!) photos of the nursery with you as well.

There’s certainly more putting away and organizing to do, but this is a giant leap forward from where we were.  The rocking chair, rug and hanging lamps are from Ikea.  Dave is working on a better way of rigging up the Ikea lamps so you see less of the cords.  But it works for now.  We’re still looking for a small side table to put by the rocker.  Eventually we’ll be putting up a rod with a curtain in front of the closet.   We found lots of great textiles at Ikea for the curtain, but our favorites weren’t gender neutral enough so we’re just going to wait until Baby Holt gets here and pick one out then.  We’re using the bassinet on top of the playard as the baby bed for the first few months so this will be moving into our room for a while.  And by about Christmas or so we’ll have a crib for baby to move into, courtesy of Grandpa Holt.

Next up, a birth announcement or a garden update…whichever gets here first.

Nesting Husband

Some people might think that ‘nesting’ is something only expectant mothers do.  I am here to tell you expectant fathers do it as well.  Now perhaps it’s really just Dave’s way of occupying himself while waiting for the baby, but whatever you want to call it, he put it to good use last weekend. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, our friend scored us some carpet tile for the front hallway.  It’s not our long term solution, but it helps everything look cleaner and more finished for the time being.  When we moved in, the floor in the front hall was oak parquet.

  

We decided that someday we’d replace it with cork.  So what a pleasant surprise it was that once we moved in and popped a piece of the parquet up, we found cork.  Woo hoo!  So when we had the wood floors finished, we had the guys pull up the rest of the parquet and try to refinish the cork at the same time.  Unfortunately, it’d been neglected for so long that it wasn’t salvageable.  So we’ve had partially deteriorated cork in our front hallway for almost a year.  We then made it worse with all the construction traffic.  Thus the need for some carpet tile.  Dave spent all of a weeknight, all day Saturday and part of Sunday installing and it’s a completely different space now.

Since laying carpet tile didn’t take his entire Sunday he decided to next tackle the windows.   This is quite an endeavor.  I believe he counted 23 windows on our house.  And because of the way our yard drops off in back, he had to access more than half of them using our neighbor’s giant ladder.  Our windows are the old steel casement, crank out kind with screens on the inside.  So I helped by going window by window and opening all the ones not painted shut and he could clean the inside and outside of the window at once.  We aren’t entirely sure when the last time was that all the windows were washed, but let’s just say it was a vast improvement once he was done. 

 I’m not sure you can see it in the picture, but he rigged the bucket to the ladder using a wire coat hanger.  He also reported that the squigee he was using is one of the best inventions ever.  The bottoms of the windows he’s working on in this picture are probably about six or seven feet off the ground, and these aren’t the highest ones.  More updates to come…

The Excitement Builds

Today marks 37 weeks that I have been incubating the next little Holt.  We missed our 36 week photo so here’s one from yesterday.

We had an appointment with our midwife yesterday where she told us that the baby is in the correct position for an effective and less painful labor (baby’s back towards my left and baby’s face towards my back).  Baby has not dropped all the way down yet, but is partly there.  And I’m already 2 cm dilated.  While there is no way for the midwife to know exactly when this means the baby will arrive, it does lead her to believe that we will not make it to a full 40 weeks.  My best guess is any time in the next week or two.  Despite the fact that Dave and I talk about this baby every day and have been for many months now, knowing that he/she could be here just about any time now is amazingly surreal.

Thus there was a flurry of activity in the Holt home last night that continues today.  Car seat bases were installed, the stroller was assembled, shower gifts were sorted to find out what we still needed.  Today Dave is finishing painting the nursery, with help from his ever handy father (have I mentioned he’s building the baby crib?  Another post on that later).  I’ll be packing my bag for the birthing center, cleaning house and washing baby clothes and blankets.  Oh, and to top it off, our friend with a local flooring installation company found some extra carpet tiles in the warehouse that we’ll be installing in the front hall to cover up the rotted cork floor temporarily.  Pictures of all of this to follow shortly!